Sorry this might be long-ish and passionate…
This week somebody told me they’d met a witch and learned a lot from her. A weird doubt came up: Is that woman witchier than me? Wait! Am I witchy enough?
WTF? Witchy enough for what?
Once, a guy told me he didn’t want to go out with me because I wasn’t tall enough. My boss at the time asked, “Tall enough for what?” Good question!!
About the enough-ness…
I work with women writers and when someone is feeling blocked or stuck, how many times do you think there’s an enough-ness belief under that blank page?
Pretty much all the time.
So if I’m asking whether I’m enough, that’s a red flag. It means I am not aligned, not feeling safe. My nervous system is activated and I just don’t have the resources to lean back and be me. I’m in a fight, flight, freeze or fawn mode.
But given the state of things in this earth-time/space plane, I am going to guess that I’m not the only one feeling activated, unsafe and “off” about their enough-ness.
Let’s see if any of these ring a bell for you:
Am I doing enough to help Ukraine?
Have I had enough shots to avoid COVID?
Am I doing enough inner work or am I spiritually bypassing?
Am I drinking enough water?
Am I taking care of myself enough or am I people-pleasing again?
Just a note about that last one. I included it because lately I hear people apologize,
“I know I should be taking better care of myself…”! As if we have to feel bad about not feeling good about ourselves.
Yes, taking care of yourself first is the root of all healthy magic, but have mercy. If you spent a lifetime putting everyone else first, or you spent a childhood caring for the grown-ups, or you walked on eggshells to stay safe in a relationship, it was survival not to put yourself first and that’s a lot to unlearn.
The right way to handle hobgoblins
It’s been a long time since I thought I wasn’t enough of a witch or that I was practicing magic “wrong.” I do my mystico-curious, spiritual-eclectic thing. It usually feels pretty good. I’m sure you go along feeling pretty good much of the time too.
But, sometimes when we are alone, or intentionally solitary, or in our head a lot, the voice of the hobgoblin has no challenger. There’s no one to correct the loop-de-loop, negative thinking. No one to remind us we’re not bad for feeling what we feel.
Without a coven, community or a group of co-conspirators, there’s nobody to remind us of our divine nature. Nobody to ground us back to safety. Have you been feeling isolated these last couple years? And now, we’re all trying to figure out how to get connected again even as new Omicron variant ABC is threatening another wave and will we have to get another booster, and mask, and, and, and? Pretty destabilizing, right?
Invitation to you
So, in this virtual way I will reassure us all (me included): we are more than enough in our witchiness, our service to others, and our self-care, no matter how limited any of those might be.
When you’re frustrated, bitchy, judgy, harsh, with yourself and everyone else, it’s a sign your nervous system is on red alert. If you’re feeling any of the negative things, just remember that it’s that little soft animal part of you that wants to survive. Right now, lots of things aren’t safe so it’s no surprise.
I would love us to be together to remember and reassure each other collectively. To be in the vibration of women who are becoming more and more conscious of our divine enough-ness. To support each other, even right here and now in what looks and feels so difficult.
I, for one, would love to have someone remind me that in another one of the multi-dimensions where I live, another version of me is already waaaay more witchy than I am today. And she’s doing more than enough everything. And loving it.
Here’s a little talisman you could create:
Write all the ways you believe yourself insufficient in the tiniest handwriting you can muster on the smallest piece of paper you need to log it all.
Then fold it into the teeniest little square.
Its size represents the little child who had to survive as well as the self-imposed limits that kept you small and unnoticed. It’s a treasure, really, how these beliefs have served you.
This may not be a thing to burn or throw away. (Of course, do that if it feels right.) But you could decide to use the tiny square as a talisman that proves you know how to take care of yourself after all. It’s been a magical protection and it’s kept you alive.
And now, every day you increase in power.
Now, you have better and more ways to care for you and your beloved ones.
And now you are becoming that multi-dimensional woman who knows she is witch enough already.